Heartbreak Hotel: EU Parliament moves into the hospitality industry

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Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.

“Is there wherever they do French meals?

“Yes, France, I consider. They appear to love it there. And the swim will surely sharpen your urge for food. You’d higher hurry, the tide leaves in six minutes.

That basic change is from “Fawlty Towers,” the hit British sitcom that’s now, it could appear, inspiration for the European Parliament because it seeks to get into the resort enterprise.

As you’ll have learn in Brussels Playbook this week, Parliament President Roberta Metsola welcomed the concept of “establishing a resort in the Salvador de Madariaga constructing,” which is a part of Parliament’s Strasbourg actual property portfolio, as a result of it “may assist ease the burden on the resort sector” in Strasbourg.

Not positive the present resort house owners of Strasbourg would agree with that reasoning, seeing as quite a lot of their enterprise comes from welcoming MEPs and Parliament staffers. Also, will the Parliament additionally open a less expensive resort throughout the Rhine in Kehl?

Of course, politics and inns go collectively like a Strasbourg plenary session and adultery.

The most well-known political scandal of all time — Watergate — is known as after a resort. It was at Cliveden House in the U.Ok. the place 19-year-old Christine Keeler first caught the eye of Secretary of State for War John Profumo, which led to the scandal that grew to become often known as the Profumo affair. When Donald Trump determined that he wished to purchase Greenland, he promised not to build an enormous, gaudy Trump Towers-style resort in downtown Nuuk. Oh, and there was a 5-star hotel in Iraq being run by famous hospitality industry consultants ISIS.

Some politicians even dwell in inns, which is maybe Metsola’s plan. A couple of months earlier than her loss of life in 2013, Margaret Thatcher moved into the Ritz Hotel (which is a reminder that hellraising actor Richard Harris lived at the Savoy Hotel in London and when he was lastly carried out on a stretcher in 2002, is claimed to have remarked to passersby, “It was the meals.”).

Jean-Claude Juncker lived in a resort for a lot of his time as European Commission president. He as soon as mentioned that he “couldn’t invite anybody dwelling. I can’t speak to official guests sitting on my mattress” and complained that he was compelled to observe Euronews “all night time lengthy.”

And Juncker’s successor, Ursula von der Leyen, gave the concept a spin by turning the Berlaymont into her personal non-public resort by merely shifting in.

Declassified has already booked a keep in the not-actually-open-yet-but-probably-luxurious Hans-Gert Pöttering Suite at the Parliament’s new resort in Strasbourg, which has each TV channels — EBS and EBS+ — in addition to a mattress that’s hemicycle-shaped and which prices quadruple the value for one week a month. Stay tuned for the evaluation.

CAPTION COMPETITION

“OK, so we’re clear on the plan? Six weeks of pretending to assist European values after which we kick all the foreigners out.”

Can you do higher? Email [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque

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Paul Dallison is POLITICO‘s slot information editor.





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