Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.
Imagine the pleasure in POLITICO Towers at the information that Beyonce was taking a gaggle of journalists and influencers to an unique location for a “once-in-a-lifetime” efficiency (it was additionally a reminder of an outdated joke: “I’ve simply been on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. I’ll let you know what, by no means once more”).
As a journalist (no, actually) and somebody who has had influenza, this was thrilling stuff. Sadly, the invitation was mislaid by the good of us at Bpost, which meant I managed to keep away from the moral dilemma of watching Beyonce carry out in Dubai. Tracks from her final album, “Renaissance” — mentioned to be a love letter to Black and homosexual dance music pioneers — weren’t performed as half of the set in Dubai. Homosexuality is of course unlawful in the United Arab Emirates and technically punishable by dying.
Music and politics are uneasy bedfellows. One of the most pleasurable spats of late has been one member of ’70s/’80s rockers Journey taking to the courts to cease a bandmate from performing the huge hit “Don’t Stop Believin’” for Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago.
The band’s keyboardist Jonathan Cain is married to televangelist Paula White-Cain, the former part-time U.S. president and full-time golfer’s non secular adviser. Back in November, Cain carried out “Don’t Stop Believin’” with a number of Republicans together with far-right congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene for Trump at his Florida resort, main the guitarist Neal Schon to issue a cease-and-desist letter saying that “such conduct is extraordinarily deleterious to the Journey model.”
And then there was Liz Truss, who you could nearly bear in mind was British prime minister for 11 seconds final 12 months, and got here on stage at the Conservative Party convention to M People’s “Moving On Up,” main the band’s founder to say “we’re very indignant” and “I don’t need my track being a soundtrack to lies.”
Truss, you virtually definitely gained’t bear in mind, posed for an image with Taylor Swift at an awards ceremony in 2019 when she was chief secretary to the Treasury (Truss, not Swift, who has by no means, so far as I can inform, held any senior roles in the British Treasury).
This week, American lawmakers grilled a prime govt from Ticketmaster’s father or mother firm, Live Nation Entertainment, about the service’s incapability to course of orders for Swift’s upcoming tour, which left tens of millions of individuals unable to purchase tickets.
“I need to congratulate and thanks for a completely beautiful achievement,” Senator Richard Blumenthal mentioned to Live Nation CFO Joe Berchtold. “You have introduced collectively Republicans and Democrats in a completely unified trigger.”
So possibly music and politics do combine in spite of everything.
“Right, what can I do to assist?”
“Well, now that you simply’ve bought nothing else on, I’ve requested so that you can be despatched to the entrance line in Mariupol. ‘Do we now have a uniform in Mr. Johnson’s measurement?’”
Can you do higher? Email [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque
Last time we gave you this picture:
Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the finest from our postbag — there’s no prize apart from the present of laughter, which I believe we will all agree is much extra precious than money or booze.
“Madame Tussaud’s has excessive hopes for newly opened euro bubble wing,” by Stefan de Koning.
Paul Dallison is POLITICO‘s slot information editor.